Learning How
There is a certain sense of confidence one must have
To dye their hair sea-foam green
Maybe the brand of confidence you can only get from
Being raised by a single-mother/immigrant/businesswoman/superhero
It’s precarious
It’s also begging to be flaunted
There are a lot of things she's had to learn how to do
“A lot of immigrant families move for their children
But they have no fucking idea
Of how to raise you in this place.”
Mom didn’t know (most) sleepovers were innocent
They thought she’d have to send in her college applications by snail mail
Her sister has it better, maybe,
Doesn’t need to worry about figuring things out for the first time
Didn't need to learn confidence; she was born with it
Has her to confide in,
Has mom and also sister-mom
To guide her through the perils of Young Adulthood
It’s wasn’t easy, it isn’t easy, it won’t ever be easy
To be responsible for household chores in elementary school
To drive her sister to soccer, volleyball, school, dance
And then to leave home knowing
Mom is taking care of her sister alone now
Nothing is easy.
So she dyes her hair green and puts on a smile and draws back her shoulders
And goes out into the world
She doesn't need it to be easy, really, because
She's still learning,
Always learning
How